


Slip Some Sex in My Coffee

by felisblanco



Series: Sex and coffee [1]
Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Writing & Publishing, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-29
Updated: 2012-09-29
Packaged: 2017-11-15 07:36:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/524796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/felisblanco/pseuds/felisblanco
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Jensen is an emo punk barista, Jared is an awkward distracted writer, Danneel is the devilish matchmaker and Chris and Steve are sex-crazy exhibitionists.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> **Warnings:** Mentions of past child abuse (non sexual) and acts of violence. Also there’s weed, do I really need to warn for that? And dicks. So many dicks.  
>  **Author’s note:** Bless me, fandom, for I have sinned, it's been almost ten months since my last fic posting. *hangs head in shame* And it's basically a PWP.  
> Beta’d by [](http://candygramme.livejournal.com/profile)[**candygramme**](http://candygramme.livejournal.com/) (although I made quite a few changes since then so blame me not her for everything not good). Title paraphrased from the lyrics of _The Sun_ by Maroon 5. Banner by the fabulous [](http://winchestergirl.livejournal.com/profile)[**winchestergirl**](http://winchestergirl.livejournal.com/) with the aid of [](http://mr-felis.livejournal.com/profile)[](http://mr-felis.livejournal.com/)**mr_felis** 's hand. (Not like that, you perves! It's his hand in the pic! Jeez.)

[ ](http://felisblanco.livejournal.com/pics/catalog/2777/239169)

 

  
“You’re late,” Danneel says, the second Jensen stumbles through the back door.

Jensen waves his hand, mumbling something incoherent. She can take it as an apology if she wants to. He lifts the strap of the messenger bag over his head and dumps it in the usual corner before picking up his apron.

“Jensen.”

“What?” he grunts, wrapping the straps around his waist before turning around and reluctantly facing her. She’s giving him that look, the look that says he’s not fooling her by a long shot. He tries to duck away when she reaches for his sunglasses, but she’s too quick for his hung-over brain.

“Shit. What the fuck were you drinking last night? Absinthe?”

He winces against the too bright light and tries to snatch his glasses back, but she won’t have it.

“Nuhuh. Not while you’re working, you don’t. Customers expect to see your pretty face, Jenny, not their own grumpy reflection.”

“My head fucking hurts,” he bitches. “And don’t call me that.”

“Take an Advil, _Jenny_ ,” she dismisses. “And go open up, before we have a riot on our hands.”

He looks over at the door and sees Alli and Kristen peeking through the glass, looking more like they’re falling asleep on their feet than about to break down the door, _Shaun of the Dead_ style.

“I haven’t had _my_ coffee yet,” he complains, but there’s no sympathy to get from his boss and so-called best friend.

“Fifteen minutes late!” she points out. “Maybe if you’d tried getting here on time instead of spending an hour on _that_.” She gestures at his face.

“Hey, this,” he swirls a finger dramatically, “is part of the package. You said it yourself,” he continues as he goes to unlock the door, “the customer expects to see my pretty face. And what the customer wants,” he adds with an exaggerated bow, waving the girls in, “the customer gets.”

“I want a pony,” Alli quickly says just as Kristen quips, “How about a quickie with my coffee?”

“Danni, give Alli a pony,” Jensen throws over his shoulder as he hooks the door open but gives Kristen a doubtful look before shaking his head. “Honey, unless you’re hiding a very big strap-on in your purse…”

“Jensen!”

Kristen giggles as he gives her a wink before turning to Danneel, who is glaring at him, although she’s looking more exasperated than pissed off.

“Yes, boss?” he says innocently.

She shakes her head. “Go set up outside,” she says. “And hurry up.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

He grabs a couple of folding chairs under each arm and drags them to the door, nodding his hello to a couple of regulars as they step aside to let him pass. Usually, they’re all set up before opening time but being late means more than just missing his morning coffee. He still has to write today’s specials on the board and get cleaned up before Danneel will let him anywhere near the espresso machine, and by that time the line of customers will be long and impatient, and any hope of getting his fix is out the window for at least half an hour.

“Slave driver,” he mutters under his breath as he gets the rest of the chairs and tables set up, even if it is his own fault for turning up late. He’d woken up at his regular hour but the hangover had made his usual morning routine slower and harder to get through. For one thing he’d had to redo his eyeliner three times because his hands were so shaky.  
He steals a glance at his reflection in the window, more out of habit than actual need since he never leaves his small apartment without making sure everything is in its place. The face that stares back is reassuringly not the one he woke up with this morning: pink-flushed cheeks, bleary eyes, rumpled hair, ordinary, boring. Jensen Ross Ackles, straight A student and captain of the lacrosse team. All good American golden boy, just waiting for some sweet girl to make his life perfect.

Jensen shudders at the thought and runs his fingers through his hair, making sure every strand is where it should be. It’s still a little sticky, and when he pulls his hand away there are blue stains on his fingers, matching his nail polish. He frowns and is about to head in to wash his hands when a soft voice behind him says, “Hey.”

Jensen turns slowly around, making sure the right smile is plastered on his face. Easy, flirting, not at all flustered. “Morning,” he says, trying to make his voice sound both casual and sexy. Judging by the flush traveling up Jared’s face, he might have just pulled it off. “You’re here early.”

Jared looks a little awkward, like he’s not sure whether that is a good or bad thing. “Yeah, uhm, couldn’t sleep,” he says, shrugging as if he’s feeling the need to apologize.

Jensen would tell him that as far as he’s concerned Jared can just skip going home all together and stay at Chevy’s 24/7, or, alternatively, accompany Jensen to his home to have fabulous sex, but that would be creepy, so he just grins and nudges his head toward the door. “C’mon in, let me get you your poison.”

Jared smiles back. “Blue today?” he observes as he follows Jensen inside.

Jensen only just keeps from running his fingers through his hair again.

“Felt like a blue day,” he says, then realizes that makes him sound like an emo kid instead of the punk-slash-rock image he’s going for. “Gotta make room for all the colors of the rainbow,” he adds with a flamboyant wave of his hand and a dramatic head move that makes his blue-striped hair flip back.

He looks over his shoulder, expecting one of Jared’s amused smiles but instead he gets twisted lips in a flushed face, and eyes that shift away the moment they realize Jensen is looking. His own smile falters and he turns forward, trying to ignore the sting in his chest.

Jensen doesn’t exactly hide that he’s flaming. Kinda hard with the whole eyeliner-crazy hair-nail polish-skinny jeans-leather bracelets-silver rings look he’s got going, not to mention that he’s a fucking barista, and he’s yet to meet a male barista that’s _not_ gay. For fuck’s sake, he’s got the rainbow flag tattooed on the inside of his wrist, it doesn’t get more obvious than that.

But maybe Jared missed that memo. Maybe he only just now realized that Jensen’s been flirting with him like crazy for the last three months and is having a straight guy freak out at the thought of being OMG! hit on by a dirty queer.

Great.

“I need to write the specials,” Jensen says flatly and moves behind the counter. “Danni will take care of you.”

“Uh, okay,” Jared says behind him. He sounds a little nervous, but then again he always does when Jensen talks to him. Something Jensen is regarding in a whole different light right now.

He takes his time at decorating the board, using way too many colors to create what looks like some kind of psychedelic acid trip when he finally steps back to look at it, the menu hardly readable where it’s hidden among the twirls.

By the time he’s washed up and feels ready to face people again, Jared is sitting in his usual corner, hunched over his laptop, cappuccino steaming in front of him. Jensen sighs and nudges Danneel out of the way to take over the espresso machine, leaving her to deal with the customers. She shoots him a look, but it’s more concern than annoyance, and he pretends he doesn’t notice.

Yeah, this is definitely shaping up to be a crappy day.

 

\-------

When Jared moved to the East Village six months ago he spent what anyone would consider a ridiculous amount of time trying out every decent coffeehouse in the neighborhood in hopes of finding his new home away from home. His standards weren’t _that_ high, he thought, he just wanted a place that served decent coffee, had a good enough menu to make sure he ate at least one healthy meal a day, offered wireless for his laptop and, last but not least, provided a calm but hopefully stimulating environment.

He’d been about to settle for just decent coffee and wireless when he walked into Chevy’s three months ago and instantly knew, this was it.

Sure, the coffee is pricey, and the food could be better. The wireless has a tendency to cut off at the most inconvenient times, and the old guys that sit in the corner every morning from nine to noon, pretending to play chess while really just bitching about the world at large, can get quite rowdy and distracting.

On the other hand, it has Jensen.

Jared takes another sip of his now rather cold cappuccino, using the opportunity to glance over the top of his laptop, making sure no one is paying him any notice before he locates his target.

Jensen. Jensen with his sexy bowlegs in his skinny jeans, that are so tight Jared’s sure they’re illegal in at least four states. Jensen in his thin t-shirts that fit him perfectly, showing off every muscle in his upper body. Jensen with his artistically applied eyeliner that makes his green eyes pop, and his already doe-like eyelashes seem even longer. Jensen with his constantly changing hair, the bright colors that run through the otherwise dirty-blond strands matching the polish on the nails of his graceful fingers that are usually stained with ink, and coffee and what Jared suspects is nicotine, if the faint whiff of smoke he sometimes smells on Jensen is anything to go by. Jensen with his leather bracelets, and silver rings and rainbow tattoo that flashes Jared invitingly every time Jensen raises his hand.

Jensen with his smile, and his laugh, and his deep voice and that glint in his eye that makes Jared’s heart flutter every single time Jensen so much as looks at him.

Oh yeah, Jared’s got plenty of stimulation, right there. A little too much even, which is why he limits his Jensen ogling to five minutes every hour, or he’d never get anything done. As happy as his editor is with his newfound inspiration, he still expects Jared to deliver on time.

Jared blinks out of his musings to find Danneel, Jensen’s boss, watching him from behind the counter, a small smile playing upon her lips. To his horror Jared feels himself blushing, and he quickly drops his gaze, pretending to be absorbed in his work. Shit. Did she see him staring at Jensen like some lovesick teenager? What if she tells him? Oh god.

He’s wondering if he should pack up his stuff and get out of there when a steaming cup of cappuccino suddenly appears, replacing his cold and nearly empty one. He looks up to find Jensen grinning down at him,

“Danneel said you looked thirsty,” he says in that lazy drawl of his that makes Jared think of his momma’s homemade apple pie and hot sweaty sex, all at the same time. It’s a rather disturbing combination, and he finds himself making a face before he can help it.

“Uh…”

Jensen’s grin fades slightly. “I can take it back. Or drink it myself,” he says, his eyes shifting away and back again. “I’m due for a break anyway, and I was-”

“No, she’s right!” Jared says quickly. “I was thinking of getting up to order another one.” He flushes with relief when he realizes that she probably thought that’s why he was staring. “Guess she knows me pretty well by now,” he adds with a small smile, feeling foolish.

Jensen is looking at him with a closed off expression. “Guess so,” he says, his voice oddly flat. “Well, I’ll leave you to it.”

With that he’s gone before Jared can work up the courage to ask if Jensen would like to spend his break with him at his table. Not that he would, Jared thinks dejected, as he watches Jensen wiggle his tight little ass between the tables. A guy like that is bound to have a smoking hot boyfriend waiting for him at home. Seriously, legs don’t get bowed like that on their own.

\-------

“I’m taking a break,” Jensen growls, stealing an Americano from Gen’s hand just as she’s about to call it. She opens her mouth to protest, but one look at Jensen has her backing off, hands in air, and turning to make a new one.

“I thought you were taking your break with Jared,” Danneel says, puzzled. “Finally making a move?”

He shoots her a glare and digs a half-empty pack of cigarettes from his bag, along with his lighter. “Why don’t you take a break with Jared?” he snaps. “Since you know each other so well.” Then stomps out the back door before she has a chance to answer.

He’s on his second cigarette when Danneel plops down on the wall beside him, dangling her long legs off the edge. She plucks the cigarette from his fingers and pulls a drag before grinding it dead into the wall. He doesn’t bother bitching at her, his tongue always gets unpleasantly numb if he smokes more than one at a time anyway.

“Wanna tell me what that was about?” she says after a while, elbowing him none-too gently.

“What?” he counters, defensive.

She gives him a look, suggesting she knows he’s not _that_ stupid. He looks away. Typical females. Never can leave a man to sulk in peace.

“Nothing,” he mutters.

“Fine, don’t tell me. Just next time you’re PMS-ing, leave me out of it.”

She gets up, and he’s tempted to just let her leave, but Danneel can be a real bitch when she’s in a mood, and he’d rather deal with it now than suffer a whole day of stink-eye.

“Jared shot me down,” he says, trying to sound like he doesn’t give a shit, but of course it comes out small and pathetic.

She stops, looking down at him with a surprised frown. “Seriously?”

“Yeah. But if _you_ wanna have a go I’m pretty sure he’s up for it.” There’s no masking the bitter tone this time.

She sits down again, stealing a sip of his coffee. It’s cold by now, and she grimaces before tipping the cup over, throwing the rest out. Then she puts her arm around him and presses her palm to his cheek until his head rests upon her shoulder. He closes his eyes and sighs, allowing himself to give in to the disappointment he had every intention of ignoring.

“He’s not really my type,” she says after a while. “Too gay.”

“Nah, mine neither,” Jensen says flatly. “Too straight.”

She laughs, and he cracks a smile even if he’s not really feeling it.

“Honey, you don’t _really_ think he’s straight?” she asks after a while. “I’m pretty sure that amount of pink in your wardrobe automatically cancels your straight membership card, for one thing.”

Jensen snorts, but he doesn’t say anything.

“Not to mention the way he keeps staring at your pretty ass when he thinks no one’s looking,” she adds with a smile.

“Ever think maybe he was staring because he thinks I’m a freak?” There’s that sting again from this morning, right in his chest.

“Well, there’s that,” Danneel says loftily, but one look at Jensen’s devastated face and she turns dead serious. “Jenny, I’m kidding. Why the hell would he think you’re a freak?”

He gives her a pointed look, but she meets it calmly. “Jensen, you’re not a freak. You’ve got any idea how fucking hot you look with all… that?” She gestures at his whole get-up.

Well, duh. That’s one reason why he adopted it. But he knows not everyone agrees with her and seeing as that was a big part of why he got the hell out of Texas and moved to a more accepting part of the country the first chance he got, he probably should have expected this. Especially since Jared is undeniably Texan, pink shirts aside.

“Doesn’t matter,” he says. “He’s straight, or he’s just not interested. Either way, I’m screwed. Or, you know, not.”

“I’m sorry.” She puts a finger under his chin, tilting it up for a kiss. He kisses her back, just lips on lips, no tongue, because he’s not drunk and sixteen and looking for someone to fix him anymore. It’s just warm, and soft, and nice and kinda makes him want to give in and cry a little, except that would smudge his eyeliner, so he won’t.

“Okay?” she asks gently as she pulls back, hand playing with his hair. He takes a deep breath and nods.

“Yeah. Just… you know. Sucks.”

She smiles and gives him another kiss, on the cheek this time, before standing up. “Five more minutes,” she says. “The lunch rush hour is about to start.”

He nods, and she pats him on the shoulder then heads back inside. After a little while he sighs and gets slowly to his feet, dusting the dirt off the back of his jeans and reluctantly follows her.

Life goes on, right? That’s what they say anyway.

\------

There’s sad and then there’s just plain pathetic. Jared’s pretty sure he’s hit the latter. Why else would he still be showing up at Chevy’s every morning to spend his day sneaking glances at Jensen every chance he gets, when Jensen hasn’t so much as looked at him for over a week?

Now, Jared’s aware that Jensen has his moods, in fact he’s overheard the girls accusing him of being a bitchy drama queen plenty of times, but whatever’s eating at Jensen he can usually muster up at least a smile for Jared. Now it’s like Jared’s gone invisible. He’s actually caught himself glancing at his reflection in the window to make sure he’s really there, because as far as Jensen’s concerned, Jared apparently doesn’t exist.

When Jared shows up in the morning Jensen is either busy writing the specials or he’s working the espresso machine, and doesn’t even look up when Jared tries a weak, “Uhm, morning?” During the day it’s the same. Every time Jared stands up and stretches before making his way over to order another cappuccino, or a sandwich or something else to satisfy the bottomless pit that is his stomach, by the time he’s made it to the counter Jensen is gone out the backdoor – to smoke, Jared presumes. When he leaves he waves his usual, “See ya!” and although the girls wave back, Jensen doesn’t even look up from whatever he’s doing. See? Invisible.

It’s a Saturday morning, and, even if yet another deadline is approaching way too fast for his liking, Jared just can’t muster up the energy to get his ass over to Chevy’s. Not like it will do him any good anyway, lately he’s lucky if he manages a couple of hundred words a day. It has nothing to do with the fact that he knows Jensen’s schedule like the back of his hand, and the frustrating object of his obsession won’t be in until two o’clock at the earliest. Later if he’s been drinking, (and most likely having crazy sweaty sex with his no doubt smoking hot boyfriend) which he seems to do most nights he has the morning off.

Jared towels his hair dry while crossing, naked, what he tells his mother is a studio apartment but is really no more than a slightly larger than average room, with a cooking bench at one end and a bed at the other. Throwing the towel on the bed he grabs an old pair of jeans that, at this stage in their existence, contain more riffs than actual fabric. Every time he pulls them on he listens for another ripping sound and wonders if this is the day they’ll decide to expose parts of him even the boys down at the Boulevard would consider indecent. Especially considering he’s going commando, since he’s got no clean underwear left.

It’s time he did some laundry. This place could use a cleaning as well, and, what the hell, this is as good a day as any to go grocery shopping.

“Yes, and then you can call your mother, and, to bring the day to a perfect end, how about an enema?” he mutters sarcastically.

Still, he starts gathering up dirty clothes from various corners of the room, removes the sheets off the bed and finally shoves his damp towel in as well, since it’s starting to smell. Wearing his flip-flops and a t-shirt that could also actually use a washing, Jared locks the door behind him and heads down the stairs. It’s a hot, sunny day with only a light breeze, and he’s already sweating.

He doesn’t actually hate doing laundry; in fact he finds the whole procedure rather soothing. All the machines working their rhythm, the different colors tumbling behind round glass windows, the scents of detergent and fresh warm laundry mixing in with the smells of the neighborhood spices and people. It gives him a nice opportunity to people-watch as well. In the few months he’s been living here he’s started to recognize some of the regulars, even says hello to some if they remember him.

Right now there’s a woman running four machines at once while her two brats play catch around the laundry room, there’s an old man – widower, would be Jared’s guess – who seems rather baffled by the whole thing and finally bunches everything together in one machine, the load too heavy and colors mixing. A tired looking girl who looks way too young to be eight months pregnant is washing baby clothes for however many additional kids she’s got waiting at home, and a young guy sits with his back turned, on top one of the machines, reading a magazine while he waits.

An old Beatles song comes on the radio and the guy starts bopping his head, humming along. Jared finds himself watching with rapt fascination, the way the guy’s body is slowly seduced by the music until it succumbs wholly to the beat. Shoulders rolling, fingers drumming, spine slinking like a snake dancing to its master’s flute. There’s something familiar about the slender figure, but it isn’t until the guy suddenly looks up and jumps off the washer to get his load of laundry out of the dryer that Jared feels a thud in his chest. The slight swing of his hips, the roundness of the perky butt as the guy bends over…

The guy scoops his clothes out of the dryer and shoves them into a duffel bag, not bothering to fold them, then straightens up and turns around, eyes downcast, a nervous twitch to his mouth. He walks right past Jared, not seeming to notice him – or maybe he’s just ignoring him as usual, because there’s no question about it, that’s Jensen. Blond-haired, fresh-faced, stud-less Jensen, dressed in shorts and a hoodie of all things. Jensen looking… ordinary.

Well, as ordinary as the most beautiful guy on the face of the planet can look, that is.

Jared sits staring at the door for a long time after Jensen’s gone, trying to fit the young, shy, innocent-looking boy he’d just seen with the tough punk he knows from Chevy’s. Of course he hadn’t thought Jensen sprung that way from his mother’s womb – the ever-changing color of the hair alone makes it obvious Jensen puts a lot of work into his looks every single day – he’d just never wondered what Jensen might look like without it. And now that he knows…

He goes back home with his bag of clean laundry, feeling awkward, uncomfortable. Like he’d walked in on his boss crying or his mom on the toilet. Jensen chose his looks for a reason. It’s a skin he clearly feels comfortable in, one he must feel fits far better than the one Jared just happened to see. That much is obvious. He’d probably be pissed, if not mortified, if he found out Jared had seen him. Still, Jensen de-masked is a sight Jared will never, ever forget.

He loves Jensen’s punk look, it’s expressive, unique and yes, hot as hell. Jared’s jerk-off fantasies frequently involve him running his tongue over Jensen’s tattoos and sucking on a piercing, Jensen’s leather bracelets digging into Jared’s palm as he grabs Jensen’s wrists in one hand, holding his arms stretched above his head. He imagines smudging the eyeliner with his thumb, then pushing Jensen to his knees and grabbing hold of his colored hair as he fucks Jensen’s wicked mouth with those big, green, kohl-rimmed eyes gazing defiantly up at him. Sometimes Jensen is the one who throws Jared up against the nearest wall and fucks him, hard and fast, hissing filthy words into his ear. His painted fingernails are digging into Jared’s hips, the ring in his lip cool against Jared’s sweaty skin as he licks a stripe up his spine. Sometimes there’s spanking, with Jensen’s rings leaving odd shaped bruises on Jared’s ass. It’s dirty and perverted and so fucking hot it tends to short-circuit Jared’s brain, leaving him worn out, and dizzy and blushing like crazy the next time he goes to Chevy’s.

This time, however, Jared suddenly has a rosy-cheeked mama’s boy staring at him with shocked innocence when he closes his eyes. He groans, hand speeding up, and comes in two minutes flat. It’s embarrassing. And really, really awkward.

So awkward in fact that he doesn’t go back to Chevy’s for three days, because he’s so sure Jensen will take one look at him and just _know_ something is up. That still doesn’t stop him from jerking off six more times, alternating between fantasizing about Jensen with his punk look and Jensen as a barely legal virgin. And, once, both at the same time.

When he finally gathers the courage to return he doesn’t know whether to be relieved or disappointed as he steps through the door, and Jensen isn’t even there.

\---------

“He’s back.”

Jensen turns his head so fast his neck twinges painfully. Danneel smirks, and he scowls back at her. So much for playing indifferent. “Good for him,” he mutters and takes another drag of his cigarette.

“Had things to do, he said. Stuff. Whatever that means.” She gives Jensen a light kick in the backside with the toe of her sneaker. “Missed us, apparently.”

Jensen snorts. “ _You_ maybe.”

“Well, I am awesome,” she agrees, “but if I’m the one he keeps coming back for, how come he’s ignoring this impressive cleavage and instead keeps staring at the door with a hangdog look?”

Jensen shrugs but his heartbeat does kick up a notch. “Maybe he’s waiting for someone.”

“Maybe he’s waiting for you, stupid.”

He shakes his head. “Just let it go, Danni. Please.”

She stands silent for a while, then she crouches down and gives him a light hug before standing up again. “Breaks over in five,” she reminds him.

He nods and takes another sip of his coffee, wishing it was Irish. Waits until he can hear her closing the door before allowing his shoulders to slump. He puts out the cigarette and lights a new one. Smokes it in silence. When he can’t put it off any longer he gets to his feet and brushes the dust off his jeans, sucks the last of the nicotine into his lungs and flips the still-glowing stub into the corner of the alley where it joins a few dozen others. Every day he promises to clean it up, and every day he just adds to the pile. Whatever. He’s gonna quit anyway. Soon.

He spots Jared in his usual corner when he gets back inside, hidden behind his laptop, a half empty cup of cappuccino by his side. He seems engrossed in whatever it is he’s writing, paying absolutely no attention to Jensen joining the staff.

When the small bell above the door pings though, sure enough, his head pops up, eyes staring hopefully and then disappointed at Misha who’s picking up his daily dose of chamomile tea, extra strong, no sugar. (What is the point of strong chamomile tea, Jensen has wondered more times than he can remember. Is it to put you to sleep faster? Why would anyone order tea at a coffee house anyway? It’s just barely flavored water for fuck’s sake.) Jensen is about to give Danni a told-you-so glare, when he sees Jared’s gaze slide along the counter and then stop, abruptly, as their eyes suddenly meet. Jensen’s about to offer a small courteous nod, when Jared’s face goes beet-red, and he ducks behind the laptop’s screen, like the small screen can actually hide his giant self.

Jensen frowns. What the hell? He waits for a hint on what’s going on, but Jared stays down, and, as Danni’s pointy elbow not so gently reminds him, Jensen’s got work to do. The next time he looks over there’s nothing at the table but an empty cup. Jared is gone.

Well, fuck.

 

When Jensen finally escapes work at eight, he turns left instead of right. There’s nothing at home anyway but empty rooms and his own miserable reflection in the mirror. He can’t face it, not today. Wednesday or not, he needs booze, weed and sex, not necessarily in that order.

Chris greets him with a cheer and a slap to the cheek, calling him a little bitch and a fucking bastard before pulling him into the living room, where Steve hands him a beer and then offers him a hit of his joint. Three beers and too many hits to count later, they’re sitting on the floor, doing shotguns, and before he knows it, Jensen’s flat on his back with Steve and Chris on either side, making out above him while their hands sneak into his pants. It’s almost enough to erase every thought of Jared completely from his mind. Almost.

 

Jensen wakes up still drunk and an hour late for work. He stinks of weed, and beer and sex, and there’s no way in hell he has time for a shower, let alone to go home and change. Shit. Danneel is gonna _kill_ him.

“I’m sorry,” he says meekly, when she picks up the phone. “Fuck, Danni, I...”

“I don’t care,” she cuts him off, voice cool as ice. “You’ve got fifteen minutes, which I’m taking out of your paycheck. Any longer, and there won’t be a paycheck. You got me?” She hangs up before he can get a word in.

“Jesus!” he mutters. “Give me a fucking break, woman!”

He runs his fingers through his hair and gets them stuck on what feels suspiciously like dried jizz. Ugh. The sorry sight that meets him in the bathroom mirror makes him flinch. His eyes are red, his skin ashen. His eyeliner is smeared down his cheeks. He has no choice but to scrub his face clean, add a quick shaky line under his eyes, and hope he gets a break to fix it later. Nothing he can do about his hair, or his clothes, rumpled and damp after a night of sleeping on the floor.

He lets himself out, leaving Chris and Steve still fast asleep, curled up around each other in front of the couch. Chevy’s is a twenty minute walk away, but Jensen snatches Steve’s skateboard in the hallway and makes it in ten.

When he walks in, Danneel takes one look at him and flips the fuck out. She yells at him for two minutes straight then orders him home to shower and change, because he “stinks like a two-dollar whore,” and apparently that’s bad for business. It’s not until he’s back home, shaking from the cold shower, and the hangover that’s now hitting him full force, that he realizes Jared was probably there for the whole thing.

Shit.

\-------

The minute Jensen walks into Chevy and Danneel unleashes her rage, Jared realizes with a bang that he doesn’t really know Jensen at all. Catching Jensen out of character was awkward enough, seeing it brutally stripped from him, word by word, cuts too close for comfort. By the time she’s done, there’s no defiance left in Jensen’s eyes, no pride in his posture, nothing that resembles the smirking, flirty punk Jared’s been falling steadfastly deeper in love with for the last three months. Jensen’s face is grey and haggard, his eyes blood-sprung, his hands tremble. But it’s the way his shoulders shoot higher and higher up, and his whole body flinches at every harsh word that makes Jared wince. He looks like an abused puppy, prepared and expecting to take a beating. From a woman half his size. It’s unsettling. And feels achingly familiar.

Thankfully Chevy’s is almost empty, because Danneel’s voice carries, further than she probably realizes. The words are hissed between clenched teeth but Jared catches, “if you fuck up again,” and “done with you,” and then, shockingly, “ _whore_!” She stands fuming as Jensen stumbles out the door, and only then does she deflate, grabbing the back of a chair as she catches her breath. An awkward silence falls over the place, which is, of course, the moment Jared’s pen decides to roll off the table and hit the floor with a loud clatter. Danneel looks up, startled, and visibly cringes when she spots him. She bites her lip and then straightens up, waving at the barista behind the counter to go on working before making her way over.

“Sorry you had to see that,” she says, sounding genuinely regretful, and Jared doesn’t know what to say. “He’s not…” She stops, looking uncertain. “He’s actually my best employee. I just … forgot you were here.”

“That’s okay,” Jared says, feeling increasingly awkward. And confused. Why is she telling him this? It’s not like she’s rushing over to apologize to any of the other customers.

She fidgets. “This probably sounds weird, but could you maybe pretend you weren’t here? Like, I don’t know, you came in late? I don’t think he saw you.”

Jared blinks. “Okay. Sure. Yeah, I can do that.” He wants to ask why, but she looks so embarrassed it seems rude to agitate her further with questions.

“Thank you. Let me bring you a fresh cup, on the house. And a sandwich, how does that sound?” She smiles, eyes shifting guiltily to the door as it pings open, but it’s just a lost looking tourist, blinking hopefully at the menu.

“That sounds great,” he says honestly, “but you don’t have to…”

“Please,” she says and then she’s gone, taking his empty cup with her.

 

Jensen comes back almost an hour later. He still looks horribly hung over, but his clothes are clean, and the usual look is in place, including the eyeliner and the green stripes in his hair. His eyes sweep nervously over the place as he steps through the door, coming to a halt when they reach Jared, who pretends to be too busy writing to notice. The moment Jensen looks away, Jared carefully peeks over the rim of his laptop screen, watching as Jensen moves behind the counter, dropping his bag on the floor before reaching for the customary black apron. Just then Danneel comes in from the back room, and Jensen visibly recoils. He even flinches when she reaches out for him. Jared hears her murmur something that makes Jensen shake his head, his eyes still downcast, but when she pulls him in for a hug he relaxes, and after a while he puts his arms around her, eyes blinking rapidly. She pulls back with a soft smile, lays a hand gently on his cheek and then they kiss, right on the lips.

Jared ducks his head behind the laptop screen lightning fast, face flushing red. That’s… oh. Somehow in all his fantasies and speculations he never once considered that Jensen might _not_ be gay. The tattoo alone, and the clothes and make-up…

Jared cringes, his thoughts making him feel suddenly horribly ashamed. Way to stereotype, asshole. He risks a glance over at the counter and is relieved to find everyone back to their normal business. Jensen still looks tired but he’s smiling a little and even laughs at something Danneel says as she nudges him in the side.

Jared’s stomach clenches. He feels increasingly foolish. And stupidly hurt. Quickly he gathers his things and slips out when their backs are turned.

\-------

“You sure he wasn’t here?”

They’re closing up, the door is already locked, and the chairs are on the tables, waiting for Jensen to mop the floors.

“I’m sure,” Danneel says without looking up from doing the register. “He came in shortly after you left. Don’t worry about it.”

“I’m not worried,” Jensen lies. He wipes the counter one last time, still unable to quite face her. It’s been a while since he fucked up so spectacularly. It had felt too familiar, that fear of being violently rejected, he still can’t quite shake it off.

Suddenly she’s at his side, taking away the rag he now realizes he’s been rubbing vigorously over the same spot for God knows how long.

“Jensen,” she says in that reproaching but sad voice that he hates. “You know the only reason I got so mad is because I love you so damn much.”

He can’t help it, he flinches.

She sighs. “C’mon, Jen. Stop doing that. I’m not your mother, okay?”

“I know,” he says automatically, but when she touches his arm he still has to force himself not to jerk away. From the look she sends him, he doesn’t quite pull it off. “Then you know I won’t hit you,” she reminds him, eyebrows raised.

He snorts, relaxing a little. “You hit me all the time!”

“Shut up,” she says with a mock scowl and punches him in the arm. “I’m a fucking pacifist, asshole.”

“Ow!” He rubs his arm, grimacing. “You’re the asshole.”

“Nuhuh, judging by the way you stank this morning, I’d say _you_ were the asshole.”

He rolls his eyes, but he can’t help blushing just a little. “Honey, just because my ass is fabulous doesn’t mean I let just anyone enjoy it,” he counters, not mentioning that access had been pretty open for Chris and Steve until, oh, three months ago or so. “Believe me, if I’d been the asshole, you’d know by my sexy walk of shame.”

“With your bowlegs, how could I tell?” she smirks, and he flips her the finger, hiding a smile.

Actually he can’t quite remember what they did, but his ass was definitely not a part of it this time, he’d know. His dick on the other hand… Jensen’s face falls. He’d slipped on a used condom on the living room floor on his way out, but whether it was his, or Chris’s or Steve’s, he has no idea.

While mopping the floor, he sends off a quick message to Chris. The answer comes almost immediately: “ _No. Apparently u ‘prefer watching’ now._ ” He blushes, relieved even if he’s not sure why it matters so much to him, and replies with a quick, “ _Ugh, I’m never drinking again._ ” He gets a smiley rolling its eyes in reply and grins.

“Everything ok?” Danneel asks curious, where she’s waiting for him by the door.

He hoists his bag on his shoulder and turns off the lights. “Everything’s fine,” he says, showing her a row of teeth. “Everything’s absolutely fucking fabulous, sweetheart.”

She snorts. “Whatever, little miss Sunshine. You got any plans for tonight?”

“Shower, laundry, pizza, sleep,” Jensen ticks off on his fingers. “My life is just that exciting.”

She laughs and hooks her arm through his, kissing him on the cheek. “Oh you never know what might happen. Maybe your true love will show up with a basket full of dirty underwear.”

Now it’s his time to laugh. Yeah, right. Not fucking likely.

\--------

Jared’s been putting off doing laundry, not because he’s afraid he’ll run into Jensen, he tells himself, but because he never seems to have enough quarters. Problem is he sweats so much in this heat he’s changing clothes twice a day, at least. So after he manages to spill ketchup all over his last clean t-shirt he doesn’t have a choice anymore. Laundry it is.

He makes sure to glance through the big glass windows before entering the laundromat but apart from a couple of girls in their twenties there’s no one there. He’s not disappointed, really he’s not. Chances are Jensen has a routine and last time was a Saturday, not a Thursday.

He feels awkward and slightly cliché when he pulls off the t-shirt he’s wearing to put in with the rest of his clothes, but really, it stinks of sweat, and it’s not like he’s the only bare-chested guy walking around in this heat. And unlike too many of them, he can actually pull it off.

He’s sitting on the bench, reading Ray Bradbury and wondering if he’ll ever reach that height of quality in his writing, when a light breeze alerts him to the door opening, and he looks up, straight into Jensen’s startled eyes.

For a moment they just stare at each other, before Jensen fumbles and makes as if to back out again. But as he does, a group of women enter, pushing him further in, and there’s no way he can walk out now without being obvious. He looks panicked, but then he turns away and starts shoving his dirty clothes into the nearest washing machine, ignoring Jared completely.

Jared grits his teeth. It’s one thing Jensen pretending to be busy every time Jared tries to get his attention at the coffeehouse, acting like he’s invisible in here is a bit too much. It isn’t until he sees Jensen self-consciously pull the hood of his sweatshirt over his dirty-blond head, that Jared realizes he’s not Jensen’s problem.

For a moment, Jared’s not sure what to do. Pretend to be oblivious or go over and say hello? Not to hit on Jensen, obviously. That’s off the table now. But just to, you know, be polite. Looks like they might be living in the same neighborhood. And the truth is, he hasn’t made any friends yet since moving here. Oddly enough, now he knows Jensen isn’t available, Jared doesn’t feel as nervous about approaching him. He’s still crushing on him like crazy, but it’s different when he knows nothing will ever come of it.

Slowly he gets to his feet and walks over. “Hey,” he says, going for nice and friendly. “Jensen, right?”

Jensen freezes, but after a moment he sighs and looks up, eyes wary.

“It’s Jared,” Jared says awkwardly. “From the coffee shop.”

Jensen nods. He still doesn’t say anything.

Jared hesitates, then decides to take the plunge and sit down. If possible, Jensen goes even more rigid beside him, even shifting a bit to put a subtle distance between them. Jared would feel insulted, but he’s used to people judging him by his size, like tall equals danger. Instead he lets his shoulders slump and hunches, in hope that a lower posture might make Jensen relax a little.

“You live close by?” Jared asks after a long minute of silence.

“Two blocks over,” Jensen mumbles. He’s staring at his hands, pulling at the cuffs of his sleeves.

“I’m just across the street,” Jared says. “Moved here three months ago.”

Jensen nods. “From Texas, right?”

Jared gives him a surprised look. “Yeah.” He laughs. “My accent that obvious?”

“Takes one to know one,” Jensen mutters. He’s moved on to plucking at a hole in his jeans. It’s odd seeing his fingernails clean, apart from a hint of today’s green that remains along the cuticles. It must be a bitch, cleaning the nail polish off every night, but Jared guesses it’s easier that way if he wants to start with a fresh color in the morning.

“Yeah, thought I detected a bit of a twang,” Jared admits. “Nice to have a fellow Texan around, this far away from home.” He smiles.

Jensen shrugs but he doesn’t say anything.

“You still got family down there?”

Jensen only shrugs again, but Jared decides to interpret the small purse of his lips as a yes.

“Me too. Parents, siblings, two dogs, the works. My mom calls me almost every day, asking when I’m coming home.” He laughs. “Drives me crazy, but, hey, she’s my mama, you know. I miss her, too. What about you?”

“Not particularly, no,” Jensen says. It seems like he’s trying to sound dismissive but it comes out harsh and painful, and a look of anger flashes briefly in his otherwise blank face.

Jared looks away, embarrassed. He feels like he just put both feet in his mouth and swallowed, all the way to his kneecaps. Way to go, champ.

“So,” he says after a long awkward silence, grasping for topics that might pull him out of this hole he keeps digging himself deeper into. “Danneel is nice.”

Jensen looks at him sharply, and Jared backs up a bit, blushing. “I mean, she seems nice. For you.”

Jensen stares at him. “What?” he says.

“You. And her,” Jared babbles on. “Like, nice. You know. Nice.” He nods and offers what he hopes is a friendly smile, but Jensen only frowns.

“Are you asking me to set you two up?”

Jared’s eyes widen. “What? No! I’m not… I just meant, she’s pretty. You look good together.”

Judging by Jensen’s look the hole just got even deeper. “She’s my boss. And my best friend.”

Jared smiles again. His cheeks are starting to hurt from all the awkward smiling. “Great! That’s the best. Well, maybe not the boss part but…”

Jensen opens his mouth, and then he suddenly starts laughing. “Seriously? You think she’s my _girlfriend_?”

“Uhm… ”

Jensen shakes his head, still chuckling. It doesn’t sound too happy though. “No, she’s not my girlfriend. In fact she’s single, so, if you wanna shot, go for it, man. I’m sure she’ll appreciate your…” Jensen looks him up and down, smirking a little, and that’s when Jared remembers he’s practically naked. “… everything.”

Jared fights the urge to cross his arms over his chest. “No, that wasn’t…” He laughs, feeling stupid and awkward. “You just seemed close, that’s all,” he elaborates. “Kinda made me wonder.”

“Yeah, no. She’s all yours, pal.” Jensen’s eyes suddenly go ice cold. “But if you hurt her, I’ll break every bone in your fucking body, just so you know.”

Jared doesn’t know whether he’s more amused by the absurdity of the situation or turned on by the steel in Jensen’s voice. “Okay,” he says slowly. “I wasn’t really… No.” He falls silent, not sure how to proceed. “So if you don’t have a _girl_ friend…” he tries.

Jensen glares at him, looking wary again. “Aw hell. You’re one of those?”

Jared blinks. “Those?” he repeats, confused.

“Because I’m good where I’m at, thanks. Don’t need you or anyone telling me what to do with my own fucking life.” He sounds angry, bitter even. Jared feels totally at a loss.

“What?”

“Look, I’m sure you’re a nice guy and all,” Jensen says impatiently, “and maybe you think you’re saving me or whatever, but, please, just leave me alone, okay?”

“I don’t…” Jared sits back as it suddenly dawns on him “You think I’m a… what? Mormon?”

Jensen grimaces. “I don’t really care what cult you’re in, I’m not interested.”

“Uhm…”

Well, what the hell, he might as well go there.

“Don’t really think we qualify as a cult,” he says, frowning thoughtfully. “I mean, I’m sure some people see it that way. ‘Recruiting’ young people to our way of life and all that.”

“Look–” Jensen starts, looking both uncomfortable and pissed off.

“I suppose they think we should be made to wear a sign, warning them off. We’d need a symbol of some kind. Oh wait, we already got one.” Jared looks down where Jensen’s rainbow flag is peeking out from the edge of his cuff, then meets Jensen’s angry gaze with a raise of his eyebrow. “From the looks of it, you’re already in.”

Jensen blinks at him. He looks down at his wrist and then up at Jared again. “ _You’re_ gay?”

Jared gives him a little wave and a smile.

“But you…” Jensen face turns suddenly stony. “I see.”

Jared’s smile fades. That doesn’t sound good. “See what?”

“You. Talking to me here. Now.” Jensen smiles wryly. “ _This_ is more your type.”

“This what?” Jared asks, bewildered.

Jensen doesn’t answer, just stands up and opens the washing machine that’s just finished its cycle and shovels the wet clothes into a bag. He looks angry, but more than that, he looks upset. He straightens up, swinging the bag up on his shoulder and turns to the door. At the last moment he looks back and offers Jared a stiff smile. “Guess I’ll see you around.”

Then he’s gone, leaving Jared feeling more confused than ever. What the hell was that all about?

\--------

Danneel is already in her PJs when she opens the door, her red hair twisted into a ridiculous knot at the top of her head. “What the hell happened to you?” she asks as she catches the forlorn look on his face.

Jensen shoves the bag of wet laundry into her hands. “I need to use your dryer.”

“What’s wrong with the ones at the laundromat?” she asks as she steps back to let him in.

“Jared’s there.”

She starts to grin, but he gives her one hard look, and the smile falters as she gets it. “Oh. He saw you…” She gestures at him.

“Oh yeah, he saw me,” Jensen says grimly. “Finally.”

“Jenny…”

“No. Fuck him. Three months I’ve been trying to get him to notice me, and nothing. Then he gets one look at _this_ , and he’s all afire.” Jensen throws himself down on her couch, glaring. “Please tell me you have alcohol.”

She grimaces but one pleading look, and she’s in the kitchen, opening the fridge. “One beer, that’s it. You drank more than enough yesterday.”

He pouts but doesn’t argue. After all, she’s right.

“So,” she says as she sits down beside him after throwing the wet bundle of clothes into the dryer in her small washing room. “Jared liked the pretty boy, huh?” She gives him a small smile. “Well, he is cute.”

Jensen scowls at her. “He’s not cute,” he says. “He’s fucking pathetic.”

“You’re not actually two different people, you know that right?” Danni says, sounding exasperated. “Liking this,” she waves her hand at him, “doesn’t mean not liking you when you’re all gayed-up.”

“I’m not fucking ‘gayed-up’,” he shoots back, angry. “Just because Adam Lambert–”

“You’re not your looks, okay?” she cuts in, ignoring him. “Don’t matter if you dress like the Village People or put on a fucking suit, it’s still your heart in here,” she pokes his chest, “and your stupid head up here.” And she knuckles his skull, hard enough to hurt.

He jerks away, swiping at her hand. “Ow! Get off me, woman.”

“Oh, don’t be such a baby.” But she kisses him on the head anyway.

“Like I’d ever put on a suit,” he scoffs. “I’m not my holier-than-thou brother.”

She shakes her head, smiling slightly. “He’s not _that_ bad.”

“He’s a fucking lawyer,” Jensen reminds her with a shudder. “His idea of fun is to rob people of their money. I’m pretty sure he sold his soul to the Devil his first day at college.”

“He still trying to get you to come home for a visit, huh?” Danni says, all too knowingly.

“Which part of ‘when hell freezes over’ does he think is open to negotiation?” Jensen mutters, jaw clenching. “You know, he actually asked me why I couldn’t just ‘straighten-up’ for one fucking weekend.”

Danni winces. “What did you tell him?”

“Nothing. I hung up.”

Well, he’s pretty sure the line got cut off when he threw the phone into the wall, anyway.

“I have paperwork,” she says after a long silence, patting his knee as she stands up. “The dryer should be done in about an hour. You know where everything is if you want to sleep over.”

“Thanks.” He lets his head fall back and closes his eyes. Tries not to think of Jared sitting next to him, heat radiating of his naked, tanned skin, all seven miles of it. Smelling like sun, and coffee and clean sweat.

Jensen bites off a groan as his dick twitches in his pants. Damn, it’s not fair.


	2. Chapter 2

When Jared was fifteen he fell in love with the new boy in his class. Big brown eyes, raven-black hair, white teeth in sharp contrast with the olive skin and pink mouth. Every smile he threw was like a shock to Jared’s system. He couldn’t keep his eyes off of him, fantasizing about the smoothness of the boy’s skin, the taste of his mouth. It became obvious. Too obvious. He got moved to another school early in September, with a broken nose, a fractured wrist, and bruises that just wouldn’t fade.

Eight years later he still can’t look a cute guy in the eye without clenching his jaw in anticipation of a row of knuckles hitting it square on.

That day when he walked into Chevy’s and came face to face with Jensen for the first time, he forgot his no-eye-contact rule in all of five seconds. In fact he’d been so awestruck Jensen had to snap his fingers in front of his face to get his attention. It had made him flinch and drop his gaze so quickly his sunglasses had fallen off the top of his head and onto the counter. His fluster had made Jensen laugh, but not cruelly or even mockingly. Jared’s quick and awkward glances had instead met a smiling face and eyes dancing with amusement, the open friendliness completely overshadowing what might otherwise have been a rather intimidating punk look.

It’s been almost four months, and even if Jensen’s pretty face doesn’t strike Jared dumb anymore, he still feels tongue-tied, and awkward and shy whenever Jensen so much as looks at him. Doesn’t matter that the odds of Jensen punching him in the face are pretty weak, or that, even if he did, Jared has at least four inches and thirty pounds on him and could easily defend himself. The fear is still there.

Still, he prefers the early days of awkward muteness to this… whatever it is they’ve got going on now. Before Jensen was friendly, possibly even flirty. (Jared had never felt sure enough to respond to it, because, seriously, if he’d been wrong? He would have had to find another coffee shop. And possibly even had to move to another city.) The few words they exchanged were the highlight of Jared’s day. Now it’s like they’re playing a game of awkward avoiding, trying to see who can go the longest without ever meeting the other’s eye or exchanging words with more than two syllables.

It’s making Jared really start to question his reasons for still sticking with Chevy’s when there is a perfectly good coffeehouse within five-minutes of his apartment.

He’s making an honest effort at getting some last minute editing done before closing time, when someone clears their throat, and when he looks up he finds Danneel standing in front of him, hand on her hip, smile patient if a little strained.

“So you’re a tall guy,” she says, cocking her head. “Think you could do me a favor?”

“Uh, sure?” he says, feeling a little wary of the calculated look in her eye.

“There’s some stuff I need from the top shelf in the storage room. Can’t reach it, not even if I’m standing on a chair.” She gives him a hopeful smile. “Please?”

“Yeah, no problem.” He gets up and follows her through to the back of the shop, relieved when he doesn’t see Jensen anywhere. He’s probably out smoking again. Or gone home already.

“It’s just in there,” Danneel says, stepping aside to let him through a door behind the counter. “By the window.”

He walks in, stops. Frowns. “Window? There’s no window,” he says, confused, just as the door clicks shut behind him. Startled he swirls around. “Hey, what-“

“Hey! Danni, I’m in here… What the fuck are _you_ doing here?”

Jared freezes. He turns slowly and comes face to face with a pissed of looking Jensen, glaring at him.

“This is employees only,” Jensen continues, jaw clenched. “You can’t be here.”

“I’m just… Danneel said…” Jared stammers. “This is clearly some kind of misunderstanding.”

Jensen takes a step forward and Jared automatically stumbles back, his ass hitting the door. Something in his eyes must have given him away, because Jensen instantly backs off, hands raised.

“Dude,” he says quickly, “relax.”

“Sorry.” Jared fumbles for the doorknob but however much he rattles it the door wont budge. “Fuck.”

“Hey, it’s okay,” Jensen says. He frowns. “Wait, you thought I was gonna punch you? I’m not a fucking psycho, you know.” He’s starting to look angry again.

“I know,” Jared hurries to tell him. “You just startled me. I had no idea you were in here. She didn’t say.”

Jensen rolls his eye and pushes past Jared to bang on the door with his fists. “Yo bitch, let us out of here!” he shouts, loud enough to make Jared flinch again. Jensen shoots him a look but doesn’t comment on it, just keeps on attacking the door. “You hear me? Open up!”

“Call me a bitch one more time, and I’ll post that picture of you from our prom on the company Facebook page,” Danneel yells back. “I’m sorry, Jared,” she adds in a slightly lower voice, “but he’s driving me crazy with his moping. And you’re not much better, your bitchface is starting to drive away my customers. You guys need to work it out, whatever it is you’re fighting about.”

“Danni!” Jensen growls, but the only answer is a voice singing, “Lalalalala, I can’t hear you,” on the other side of the door.

“Fuck.” Jensen bangs his forehead on the door then just lets it rest there, breathing harshly. “I can’t believe she…” He turns his head, just enough to give Jared a resigned look. “You could tell her you’ll sue her for kidnapping. She might listen to you.”

“I’m not gonna sue,” Jared says, laughing nervously. “Though I might have to if someone steals my laptop while I’m in here,” he adds worried, suddenly remembering it.

“I’m sure Danni will take care of it.” Jensen pushes himself off of the door and turns around, eyeing Jared warily. “What is it you’re working on anyway? You’ve never said.”

“Oh. Nothing exciting really,” Jared says, too quickly. “Just, you know, stories.”

Jensen frowns. “Stories? Like for a newspaper?”

“Yeah. Or, you know, books.” He shrugs.

“You write _fiction_?” Jensen says surprised, like that hadn’t even occurred to him. Jared’s not sure whether he should feel insulted or not. “What about?”

_Lately? You, mostly._

“Stuff. You know. People. That sort of thing.”

“Huh.” Jensen is looking at him like he’s trying to figure him out. It makes Jared fidget nervously. “Anything I’d recognize?”

Jared painstakingly keeps his gaze from wandering over to the worn and well-thumbed paperback lying on one of the shelves, the one he’s seen Jensen take with him on breaks too many times to count. “Probably not,” he says. “I’m not exactly J.K. Rowling.”

Jensen chuckles. He still looks wary and irritated but he seems a lot less tense than he’s been for the last couple of weeks. “Right. Well,” he says as he raises his gaze to the ceiling and sighs, “what now?”

Jared shrugs. He looks around but there’s no place to sit comfortably. In the end he lets himself sink down to the floor, long legs stretched out, back leaning against the wall. After a moment Jensen follows his example, choosing the opposite wall. The room is small enough that if Jared was to move his foot a little to the left they’d be playing footsie. For a long time they sit there in awkward silence, both careful not to look too much at the other.

“So why the bitchface?” Jensen suddenly asks, just as Jared thought the situation couldn’t get more uncomfortable.

“Excuse me?”

“Danneel’s right. You’ve been moping. Not that I’ve been taking notes or anything,” Jensen adds, a little too quickly, “it’s just hard not to notice, with you usually being such a pleasant person and all.”

“Pleasant person?” Jared snorts. “You mean a socially awkward weirdo?”

Jensen frowns. “No, I meant… Socially awkward?”

“Uhm, yeah?” Jared can feel himself blushing, and, really, how does he get himself into these kinds of situations? “You know, staring, stammering, the disastrous attempts at flirting…”

Jensen stares at him, looking taken aback. Jared tries to meet his gaze head-on, but the eyeliner makes Jensen’s eyes seem so green and intense, it’s too much. He looks away.  
They sit silent for a while, Jensen picking at one of the many holes in his jeans, a thoughtful frown forming between his eyebrows.

“So, listen,” Jensen suddenly says. He clears his throat and swallows. “Turns out I’m really not that good at reading people.”

“Okay?” Jared says confused.

Jensen clears his throat again. He laughs awkwardly then licks his lips. It’s really hard not to stare. “See, here’s the thing,” he finally says. “I kinda got this idea into my head a couple of weeks ago that, that maybe you were a homophobic dickhead.”

Jared blinks. What?

“And then I thought you had a crush on Danni,” Jensen goes on, his cheeks getting increasingly pink. “That that’s why you kept coming here. Because, you know, she’s hot and all. I guess.” He scrunches his nose slightly, like he’d rather not consider it.

Jared is pretty sure he’s gaping but he just has no idea how to respond.

“And _then_ I thought you were some crazy Jesus freak who… Well, you know that part.”

“Yeah, I’m still not sure how that happened,” Jared admits.

“And _then_ , when I found out you were _gay_ ,” Jensen soldiers on despite his obvious mortification, making his face look like it might catch fire any moment, “I thought the only reason you were finally talking to me was because I wasn’t, you know…” He waves a hand at himself. “Was all _normal_ looking.” He grimaces at the word ‘normal’, like it leaves a bad taste in his mouth.

“I didn’t even notice you weren’t… “ Jared does a similar hand wave since he’s not sure what to call it. Insanely hot? Blindingly attractive? “I just finally got up the nerve to talk to you, because I thought you were straight and taken, which meant it didn’t matter as much if I made a complete fool of myself, I didn’t have a chance anyway.”

Jensen opens his mouth but all that comes out is, “Oh.” Still, he doesn’t look quite as wary, Jared can even see his shoulders draw back and sink down as his body relaxes from the tight coil it had wound itself into during his confession.

“Truth is I kinda found the whole…” Jared waves again, feeling increasingly foolish. “You know, eyeliner and piercings and, and stuff… well, a bit intimidating. Not because I thought you were dangerous or whatever but because…” He groans. “I mean, come on, if Brad Pitt walked in here, would _you_ be able to talk to _him_?”

“Probably not if he was wearing eyeliner,” Jensen says slowly, looking slightly confused. “Wait… what?”

“That! You’re really, _really_ ridiculously good looking. Like, way, _way_ out of my league.” Jared laughs nervously, not believing he’s actually doing this. “For your information, hot guys terrify me.”

Jensen stares at him. “You’re kidding, right? Have you _seen_ yourself?”

“Kinda hard not to,” Jared says sarcastically, “being freakishly tall and all over the place.”

“No, I mean…” Jensen shakes his head. “Dude, I’m the one stretching here. And I don’t mean just your height. You’re… Jesus!”

He pushes off of the wall and rolls onto his knees in one smooth move, then shuffles over until he can put a hand on Jared’s upper arm. He squeezes it like he just can’t help himself before moving to run his palm over Jared’s chest, feeling out the muscles underneath. He licks his lips, eyes slightly glazed.

“The other night, seeing you all…” He breathes out slowly. “Tanned and muscled and… I knew you’d look good naked but I never even imagined all that.” He looks up, eyes dark as they stare into Jared’s wide ones. “Why you think I’ve been so damn miserable, thinking I couldn’t have you?”

Jared sucks in his breath. “You can have me now,” he blurts out before he loses his nerve.

For a moment there’s absolute silence and then suddenly he has a lap full of Jensen and they’re… Oh God, they’re kissing.

In all of Jared’s fantasies he never… Oh fuck it, that’s a lie. He's imagined it just like this plenty of times. Jensen’s fingers clutching his shirt, his strong thighs hugging Jared’s where he’s kneeling over Jared’s lap, grinding down, hot lips, and an even hotter tongue attacking his mouth in aggressive kisses that, unsurprisingly, match Jensen’s looks.  
Jared doesn’t hold back either. He wraps his arms around Jensen’s waist, then remembers how awed Jensen was of his muscles and boldly runs his hands down under Jensen’s ass, lifting him up and pulling him even closer. Jensen whimpers into his mouth and rolls his hips so Jared can feel Jensen’s cock lengthen and harden where the bulge of his jeans presses into Jared’s stomach.

“Up, up,” he urges, and then he’s pushing Jensen off his lap, only allowing him a moment of confused glaring before he’s working on the fly of Jensen’s jeans. “Wanna suck you.”

Jensen gasps and throws out a hand to catch himself on the wall, looking like he might just fall over otherwise. “Jesus! Yeah, yeah. Come on. Do it.”

Jared shuffles up on his knees as Jensen shoves his jeans and boxers down with his free hand, then takes over, pulling Jensen’s cock free from the clinging cotton fabric until it stands proud and ready to slide into his mouth, with a silver piercing gleaming at the underside, like gay porn’s own dirty version of a promise ring.

“Oh God. That’s…Gotta just…”

He breathes hoarsely then leans forward and licks a stripe up Jensen’s cock all the way to the tip where he swirls his tongue around the warm stainless steel. Ok, this he definitely hadn’t imagined. He reluctantly pulls back when Jensen hisses, licking his lips before sliding Jensen’s cock into his mouth, feeling the hard metal tease along his tongue.

“Fuck, fuck,” Jensen groans and grabs at his head. “Your fucking mouth.”

And then he _is_ fucking Jared’s mouth, like he just can’t help himself. Jared lets him, just opens his mouth and relaxes his jaw and tries not to choke each time Jensen’s piercing threatens to slide down his throat. His eyes are closed, a string of drool is running down his chin, and his scalp stings from Jensen pulling at his hair. It’s so good he thinks he could come, just from this. From Jensen fucking his mouth, and making all these little noises and digging his painted fingernails into Jared’s scalp and…

“Look at you,” Jensen growls. “So fucking hot. You gonna fuck me, Jare? You gonna take me, huh? Jared?”

He can’t do anything but groan and suck harder. It seems to get the message across because Jensen gasps and then he’s coming, shoving it down Jared’s throat so he has no choice but to swallow.

For a moment neither moves, apart from their chests heaving. Jensen is still leaning with one hand against the wall, his cock slipping out of Jared’s mouth, leaving a string of come and saliva down his chin. Jared straightens slowly up, creaking his neck and licking what he can reach of the mess around his mouth, then wipes the rest on the back of his hand. Like he’s waking up from a dream Jensen finally pushes himself off of the wall and takes a step back, almost falling over with the constriction of his jeans around his thighs. He pulls his pants up, tucking himself in with a low hiss, then looks down at Jared, teeth biting at his lips.

Jared’s face falls. This is the moment Jensen backs out, saying ‘Hey, this was nice, thanks,’ and then they’ll never talk again and he’ll have to move back to San Antonio and…

“Yeah, no. This won’t do,” Jensen says suddenly. His lips curl into a leer and then he’s at the door, banging it with his fist. “Danni, we need condoms!”

Jared chuckles, relieved and horribly embarrassed. He gets shakily to his feet, face red. He’s pretty sure his hair is a mess and his lips puffy. He’s sporting a hard-on that not even a dip in the Arctic Ocean would be able to bring down. When the door opens he has to restrain himself from hiding behind Jensen, who doesn’t seem to be feeling self-conscious at all, the fucker.

Danneel takes one look at them and a grin splits her face. “Damn, I knew I should have installed cameras back here,” she says.

Jared hopes Jensen remembers where the fire extinguisher is, because his whole face is about to go up in flames.

“Pervert,” Jensen scoffs, but as he pushes past her he sends her an affectionate grin that has her laughing out loud.

“You’re just mad you didn’t think of it either,” she says smugly and dodges his hand flipping her off. “Get out of here, you two. I’m not having you defiling my shop further.”

She hands Jared his bag, laptop already packed away safely inside and gives him a pat on the back. “Good work, big boy. Knew I could count on you to pull that stick out of his ass.”

“And now he’s going to put _his_ big stick _into_ my ass,” Jensen says gleefully, grabbing Jared’s hand and pulling him out the door, before he can do the only decent thing and die on the spot.

“Take notes, I want details!” Danneel shouts after them, and Jared stumbles, almost walks into a lamppost and nearly drops his laptop, before Jensen’s laughter breaks through his mortification.

It’s a twenty minutes walk to Jensen’s place; shorter if you’re not sporting a hard-on, Jared guesses. Jensen keeps smiling and laughing the whole way, but when they’re finally there, and he goes to unlock the door, his hands are shaking, and Jared can see drops of perspiration at the edge of his hairline, where a nervous pulse pounds away under the pale skin. Oddly enough, that’s all Jared needs to get his own confidence back. He puts a hand on the small of Jensen’s back, smiling when he catches Jensen swallowing, Adam’s apple jumping in a startled hiccup.

“Sorry ‘bout the mess,” Jensen says with a nervous laugh as he pushes the door open. “Wasn’t expecting company.”

“Not here to inspect your apartment, man,” Jared points out, his hand moving to grab Jensen by the waist while kicking the door closed behind them. He pushes Jensen face first up against the wall, nuzzling at his neck. “Where’s your bedroom?”

“Second door to the right,” Jensen says hoarsely, hot breath sweating the wall. “You wanna drink first?”

“Not thirsty.” He holds on to Jensen’s hips, turns him around and back-walks him to the bedroom. “Wanna fuck you.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Jensen’s fingers are digging into Jared’s biceps, his eyes heavy lidded and his mouth open, panting. “Come on.”

The bedroom is dark and stuffy, the bed itself a mess of bedclothes and dirty laundry that Jared pushes impatiently to the floor with one hand before sinking down on the mattress and pulling Jensen on top of him. Jensen grinds down – his cock clearly recovered judging by the hard line in his jeans – and mouths at Jared’s jaw and neck.

“You gonna fuck me? You gonna stuff that big cock into me?” he murmurs, and that’s it. Jared’s not waiting any longer. He shoves Jensen off and to the side, unbuttons his own pants and tugs, pushes and kicks them off along with his sneakers and underwear. Beside him Jensen is on his back, doing the same, his face flushed, and his chest heaving.

“Shit, shit, shit,” he curses, and then he’s sitting up, pulling his t-shirt over his head. He’s paler than Jared, with freckles on his shoulders and arms, and a red flush traveling down his chest, all the way to the treasure trail that leads a golden and inviting path to his striving dick.

Jared throws off his own t-shirt and grabs Jensen’s head, pulling him in for a kiss. “Back or front?” he breathes into Jensen’s mouth and tries not to smirk when Jensen whimpers.

“Front. Wanna see you,” Jensen whispers. “So fucking pretty. All that skin.”

Jared pushes him down on the bed, face up, and looks around.

“Top drawer.”

Sure enough, there’s a new tube of lube there and a string of condoms. “I thought you said you weren’t expecting company,” Jared says with a smirk.

“I thought you said you were gonna fuck me,” Jensen shoots back, his face only a little red. He’s looking so fucking gorgeous, all flat out on the bed, waiting for Jared to take him, that it’s a wonder Jared manages to get the damn cap off the tube and coat his fingers without exploding all over Jensen’s chest.

“Jesus, your fingers,” Jensen is muttering, staring, his own digits lightly running up and down the length of his cock, like he’s worried just a little might be too much. “You’ve got no idea how much I’ve wanted those fucking fingers.”

“Just my fingers?” Jared can’t help laughing even if he’s feeling quite light headed himself at just the thought of sliding in, knuckle by knuckle, until he’s fucking Jensen with half his hand, at least.

“Nuhuh, not tonight,” Jensen says. “But later, yeah. Definitely. Your fingers and nothing else, wanna come from just that.” He groans and grabs the base of his cock, as if the thought alone is bringing him to the edge. “But not now,” he continues, breath hitching. "Now I want your dick. C’mon, ‘big boy’. Show me what you’ve got.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Jared runs his slick fingers down, slides them along Jensen's perineum until his fingertips catch on the bumpy ridge of his goal.

Jensen’s mouth falls open, eyelids fluttering. His thighs shake as he lifts his hips for easier access. “Fuck yeah,” he moans, and that’s all the invitation Jared needs.

It’s been a while since he’s done this but his fingers remember what his dazed mind can’t, easing in and pulling out at the right rhythm, the right speed. It’s mesmerizing, watching Jensen’s face, his body, reacting to every push and shove, every slide and tickle. Legs falling open, back arching, fingers twisting in the sheets, bundling it up in tight fists. He’s gritting out curses that sound like prayers, breathing random words turned dirty by his moans. The tight fit slowly loosens as Jensen’s body is coaxed open, letting blood rush back into Jared’s aching fingers, what little isn’t already bruising his dick purple.

“Now,” Jensen groans. “Now!”

Jared’s fingers are slippery, making the damn aluminum escape his grip again and again, until he finally tears it open with his teeth, grimacing at the taste of lube and rubber that hits his tongue. He rolls the condom onto his aching dick with a practiced but still shaky move, only just remembering to pinch the air out of the tip before the head fills it up, then down, down until he’s grabbing the root tight, threatening his cock with a weeklong celibacy if it doesn’t behave and calm the fuck down. He’s spent too many hours dreaming about this to blow it on the first push like some damn teenager on prom night.

Jensen goes still the moment Jared starts pushing. Green eyes stare up at him, pupils blown wide. “Oh,” Jensen’s breath hitches, then again and again, harsher, quicker. “Oh, oh, oh.” His eyes slam shut, mouth opening wide, but he doesn’t say stop and there’s nowhere to go but forward, slowly, pushing until the head finally pops in. Jared stops, just for a moment, watching Jensen suck in his breath and let it out with a shudder, mouth still open, chest heaving like he’s running and not just lying there, waiting to be impaled.

Jared eases down on his elbows, touching Jensen’s nose with his own, mouthing at his lips and breathing his breath. His fingers cradle the base of Jensen’s skull, his thighs are shaking from the effort of keeping his lower body still. “Now?” he begs, and Jensen slams their mouths together, kissing him hard and bruising his lips with his teeth. They’re still kissing when Jared bottoms out, his balls settling against Jensen’s ass, glued there with sweat and heat. They hold still, breathing harshly, and then Jared pulls back and drives in.

It’s the most intense fucking he’s ever done. Hard and fast, almost vicious. The deeper he goes, the harder Jensen bucks against him, like he wants Jared to slip under his skin, make one out of two beings. He growls “Yes!” and “Fuck!” and “Harder!” until Jared’s sure the bed will break from the force of them pounding into the mattress. Sweat is rolling down the length of his spine and dripping off his chest to pool in the hollow of Jensen’s belly button. Jensen’s eyeliner has run at the corner of his eyes. His legs are wrapped around Jared’s waist, his painted fingernails like a bright tattoo where they dig into Jared’s biceps. When the steel piercing in Jensen’s dick brushes Jared’s stomach, he can’t help imagining what it will feel like, pounding his prostate and he gasps as the thought almost brings him over the edge.

Jensen must feel it because he lets go of Jared’s arm, mumbling, “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” as he fumbles for his own dick, and then he’s jerking it hard, eyes squeezed shut and teeth flashing white in his flushed face. Jared feels the first drops hit his stomach and that’s it, he loses it. He kisses Jensen’s moans from his mouth, fucking him with his tongue like he’s fucking Jensen’s body with his dick, pumping into the condom as Jensen’s come smears between their stomachs and chests, slicking up their sweaty skin even further. When he finally collapses, his whole body is shaking, and he feels dizzy. The world is spinning, and blood rushes in his ears.

He hears Jensen mumble something but he’s too wiped out to hear. Almost too wiped out to move when Jensen starts pushing him, muttering something about air and Jared weighing a ton. He manages a slow roll and they end up side by side on their backs, eyes on the ceiling, chests heaving in tandem.

“That was…” Jensen finally says but it’s as far as he gets, the rest getting lost in a groan as he shifts, legs straightening slowly on the bed.

“You okay?” Jared asks, glancing over. He feels a sting of guilt when he sees Jensen wincing when he moves, like he can still feel Jared’s cock spearing his insides. Shit. He hadn’t meant to be so damn brutal. “Sorry, I–”

“Shut up,” Jensen grunts. “You’re ruining the moment.”

A smile tugs at Jared’s lips. “The precious moment of your ass hurting?” he asks.

Jensen snorts. “You’re not _that_ big.” He shifts again and grimaces. “Okay, maybe you are. But,” he adds and shoots Jared a lazy, satisfied grin, “my ass is a certified size queen. In fact, it’s already looking forward to a repeat performance.” He yawns, eyes closing. “In a minute.”

Jared laughs. “I’m good, but I’m not _that_ good. Besides,” he says and slides a hand down to lightly stroke Jensen’s soft dick, “I’m kinda looking forward to taking a ride on that.” He nudges the piercing with his thumb, grinning when Jensen shivers. “As soon as you’re up for it.”

“Oh, I’m up,” Jensen murmurs. He fumbles for Jared’s hand, slipping his fingers between Jared’s still sticky ones. “I’m up for anything. Just, just give me a minute and I’ll be…” He breathes out slowly. After a while his mouth goes slack, and his fingers fall limp in Jared’s hand.

Jared watches him sleep until his jaw starts aching with suppressed yawns. He carefully tugs the comforter over them both and settles on his side, with one arm slung over Jensen’s waist, and the tips of his toes nudging the soles of Jensen’s feet.

He’ll give Jensen a minute all right. Maybe even ten.

\------------------

“Now _that’s_ what I call a sexy walk of shame,” Danni says smugly when Jensen shuffles into work early the next morning. “Damn, how big _is_ he?”

“Shut up,” Jensen laughs, wincing slightly when he bends over to put his bag on the floor. That third time this morning might have been a bit overambitious. “You should see the other guy.”

She scoffs. “Unless he was a virgin, I doubt Jared’s limping as badly as you are. I’ve seen you naked, sweetie.”

“Hey!” he protests, indignant. “My dick is magnificent.”

“Of course it is.” She pats him condescendingly on the cheek, cackling when he pushes her away to get to the espresso machine. His veins are screaming for their first caffeine shot of the day. It’s a wonder he’s this coherent without it, he attributes it to Jared and his amazing dick.

“He wasn’t a virgin though, was he?” she asks, as an afterthought, while sipping on her own Americano.

“Oh, he was definitely not a virgin.” Jensen smiles to himself. “Not overly experienced either but very willing and very, very capable.” He sighs happily.

“Damn.” She shakes her head. “Fuck, I need to get laid. My vagina is drying up like a goddamn desert, ” she sulks.

Jensen chokes on the last sip of his coffee. “Ew! Danni, c’mon. I have a delicate stomach.”

“I thought we were sharing,” she says innocently.

“You _asked_ for details. I’m very happy without them, thank you very much.”

“Prude. By the way, those weren’t details, those were just highlights. I want a demonstration and preferably a Power Point show later.”

He laughs and goes to set the tables up outside, leaving Danni to her dirty fantasies. The regulars are starting to trickle in, but he doesn’t expect Jared until later. He was sound asleep when Jensen left him this morning, and Jensen guesses he’ll go home and shower and change before he shows up.

‘If he shows up at all,’ a traitorous voice, that sounds disturbingly much like his mother, whispers in his head. ‘He got what he wanted, why should he…’

“Hey,” a familiar voice says softly behind him, and the scowl that was starting to form on Jensen’s face transforms into a smile. He looks up, meeting Jared’s shy reflection in the window, and takes a step back, allowing Jared’s arms to slide around his waist, before he tilts his head, so Jared can better kiss his cheek.

“Hey,” Jensen replies then turns slowly around, slipping his own arms around Jared’s neck. “Wasn’t expecting you until later.” Jared’s hair is wet, he smells like Jensen’s shampoo, and he’s wearing a t-shirt that looks familiar and obscenely tight.

“Couldn’t wait.” Jared grins. “Also, Danni forgot to pack my keys. I’m guessing that might have been deliberate.”

Jensen snorts. “She is sneaky like that.” He pulls Jared down for a deep, dirty kiss, ignoring the cat-calls from inside until they become too loud for comfort. “I like you smelling like me,” he whispers and pushes his nose into Jared’s neck, inhaling deeply.

“Almost as much as I like you wearing my clothes.”

“I like wearing your clothes,” Jared whispers back. “Almost as much as I like you not wearing any.”

Jensen groans, burying his face in Jared’s chest. “Hold that thought,” he says, when he finally finds his voice again. He takes Jared’s hand and drags him inside, flushed and so hard he can hardly walk. “Danni, we need to do inventory.”

“What? No! Jensen, no. You’re not… No! Jensen!”

He slams the door to the backroom in her pissed off face and turns the key. There, that should buy them some time.

“Inventory?” Jared asks, looking amused if rather mortified.

“Oh yes. I need to list all your…” Jensen looks him up and down and smirks. “… assets.”

Jared winces. “Dude, that is the worst pun ever.”

“Sorry, my brain is a bit preoccupied.” Jensen hauls Jared in by the neck and kisses him hard before taking a step back and pulling his t-shirt over his head in one swift motion. “How naked do you want me?”

“Uh…”

He looks up to find Jared staring at him, Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat. Jensen smirks. “Cat got your tongue?”

“Fuck,” Jared whispers, and that’s all the warning Jensen gets before he’s back up against the wall, with Jared attacking his mouth and fumbling desperately with the buckle of Jensen’s belt. “Off, off, off,” he hisses, and Jensen can’t help laughing even if he’s feeling rather frantic himself.

“Eager, are we?” he asks and swats Jared’s hands away. “I’ll do it.”

“You got any idea what you do to me?” Jared growls into his neck, in between bites and licks that are driving Jensen insane. He grabs hold of Jensen’s ass the moment it becomes available, his big hands cupping each cheek like they were made for him.

“Some, yeah,” Jensen mutters, running his hands under Jared’s – no, _his_ and how fucking hot is _that_ – t-shirt and moaning at the warm skin he finds there. “C’mon, Jared, this ain’t a one man show,” he complains and tries to tug the shirt up Jared’s chest.

“Nuhuh,” Jared says, taking him by the wrists and pushing his hands away. “I want to fuck you like this. You naked, me wearing your clothes.”

Jensen’s head bounces off the wall as he throws his head back with a groan. “Yeah,” he says, instantly forgetting how sore he is. “Yes, that.”

“Come on,” Jared urges and twirls him around with one twist of his wrist. “Hands on the wall.”

“You got slick?” Jensen asks breathless as he braces himself, head hanging down between his shoulders.

“I’m like a boy scout,” Jared promises with a laugh, hands on Jensen’s ass, spreading the cheeks apart. “Always prepared.”

“Course you are,” Jensen snorts. “Just… easy, all right?” he says with a grunt as the tip of a finger slips in.

Jared stops. The sound of Jensen’s harsh breathing is suddenly very loud in the quiet room.

“What?” Jensen says, looking over his shoulder. He sighs and rolls his eyes when he sees the guilty look on Jared’s face. “Dude, I’m fine. Just a bit sore. Good sore. Size queen, remember?”

Jared doesn’t answer, just watches him with a calculated look in his eyes. Jensen squirms, which makes Jared’s finger slip in a bit further, and this time Jensen can’t hide his wince. Ok, so maybe he’s slightly more sore than a bit. It’s been a while. And Jared is a fucking cockmonster.

Jared pulls his finger out, but, before Jensen can protest, Jared puts his big hands on Jensen’s hips and pulls him back, then kicks his legs further apart. “Bend forward,” he says, his voice a little rough. Jensen swallows but does as he’s told, spreading his legs as wide as he can and pushing his ass into the air. He can hear Jared moving behind him, walking away and rummaging around then coming back and rubbing a warm palm over Jensen’s back. “Fuck, look at you,” he says. “So damn hot. That ass gotta be illegal.”

Jensen huffs but just as he’s about to offer a snarky comment he hears the sound of something ripping and then something cold settles over the crack of his ass. “Dude, what…?”

“Would love to do this bareback, but, until we both know where we’re coming from, I’m thinking this is smarter,” Jared says. Then he’s spreading Jensen’s cheeks with his fingers, his breath hot and damp at the base of Jensen’s spine and… Oh God.

Oh God!

\------

“Plastic wrap?” Danneel repeats, her eyes wide like saucers.

“Yep,” Jensen says smugly. “Don’t worry, I threw the rest out.” Or, more accurately, he threw it in his bag for later use. Same difference.

“Plastic _wrap_?” she insist, like she just can’t believe it.

Jensen just wiggles his eyebrows.

“Okay, he’s definitely not a virgin,” Danneel sighs happily. “That is… “ She fans herself. “Although the thought of anyone licking your ass is pretty disgusting,” she adds with a small frown.

Jensen grins. “Sweetheart, my ass tastes like candy.”

“And plastic wrap,” she points out.

“And plastic wrap,” he agrees with a laugh. A loud cough makes him turn around to find Jared standing on the other side of the counter, face red, eyes glaring. “And there he is, the boy genius himself,” Jensen announces loudly, making Jared turn positively purple.

“Can you just…” Jared hisses. “Everyone can hear you!”

“Nah,” Jensen dismisses easily. “Don’t worry. There’s too much clatter–”

“Plastic wrap!” Kristen yells from her table, far away on the other side of the coffeehouse, and the whole place breaks out in laughter. Jared hides his face in his hands with a groan as Jensen blinks, face heating up.

“Sorry,” he mumbles when Jared finally looks up. “I had no idea the acoustics were that good. We could hold concerts in here,” he points out to Danni who is still doubled over, laughing her ass off.

“Look,” Jared says exasperated, “I’m happy that you’re happy, and, and clearly satisfied, but can you maybe keep the details of our sex life under wraps?” Another howl of laughter has him cringing. “I mean, no sharing. Please. At least not while I’m in here.”

“But it’s only Danni,” Jensen points out, pouting a little.

“No, it’s Danni and _everyone_ ,” Jared says, but he’s smiling now. “Mrs. White just asked me if I used Saran or if any brand would do. And she has a hearing aid!”

Jensen makes a face. Okay, he really didn’t need that image in his head. “I’ll try,” he promises. “Can I still talk about how big your dick is?” he shouts just as Jared’s sitting back down in his corner.

Jared drops his head down on his table with a groan but he doesn’t say no, so Jensen counts that as a win.

\---

“Tell me one thing,” Jared says, nuzzling his nose into Jensen’s hair. They’re lying in bed, recuperating. Sex is exhausting! “What’s with you and Danni?”

“What’s what with me and Danni?” Jensen asks back, yawning.

“You’re very close. I mean, _very_ close.” He shrugs when Jensen looks at him in question. “I’ve seen you kiss.”

Jensen laughs lightly. “We dated in high school.” Before Jared has time to get jealous he adds, “For about a week. Just long enough for me to lose my virginity and figure out I was gayer than Elton John in a tutu.”

“You wore a tutu?” Jared asks, eyes wide.

Jensen elbows him with a laugh. “Jerk.” He snuggles closer, pulling Jared’s arm tighter around his waist. “She’d been my best friend for years, that didn’t change. She’s the one I used to run to when…” He falls silent.

“When?” Jared prods when Jensen doesn’t continue.

“When things got rough at home,” Jensen finally says, his voice very quiet. Jared can feel him swallow.

“Your dad?” he asks gently.

Jensen shakes his head. “My mom. She was, is, not a nice person.”

Oh. “Alcohol?”

“I wish,” Jensen says dryly. “At least that would...” He stops, sighs. “No, she just liked running things her own way.”

“Which way?” Jared asks, voice low.

“Well, it wasn’t paved with _good_ intentions, that’s for sure,” Jensen says sarcastically then sighs. “She used to beat the crap out of us. Me especially.”

“Why? Because you were gay?” Jared says, angry but not really surprised. He’s heard too many stories like that before.

But Jensen laughs coldly. “First memory I have is of hiding under the bed, terrified she’d hear me cry, after she caned my ass so hard I could hardly move. I was maybe four.”

“Jesus!” Although that does explain some things, Jared thinks, remembering that morning a couple of weeks ago. “Where was your dad in all this?”

“Where you think I get my drinking genes from?” Jensen scoffs. He falls silent. “She kept telling me it was for my own good,” he says after a while. “That I needed more discipline. That she was doing it out of love. Pretty tough love that.” He sighs. “I don’t know, it just kept getting worse and worse.” He goes quiet again.

“What happened?” Jared asks finally.

Jensen shrugs, face blank. “Nothing. I turned eighteen, told her she could kiss my gay ass and walked out. Haven’t talked to her since.”

Jared swallows. “Wow. That’s… wow. I am so sorry. What a fucking _bitch_.” He suddenly realizes what he said, and is about to apologize because, bitch or not, she’s still Jensen’s _mother_ , when Jensen bursts out laughing.

“She is! Such a fucking bitch.” He rolls over until he’s up on his elbows, looking down at Jared with a wide smile. “You know, you’re pretty okay.”

Jared tries to smile even if he feels a bit sick from their whole conversation. “Yeah? You’re not so bad yourself.”

“Oh, I’m fabulous,” Jensen says, winking. “But you… You are…” He stops, the smile turning soft. He reaches out and strokes Jared’s bangs out of his face. “I like you. Very much.”

Jared swallows. “I like you, too. A lot.”

“I’m sorry I was such an asshole.” Jensen sighs, resting his chin on Jared’s chest. “We could have been doing this for months.”

Jared can’t help laughing. “Dude, I’m the one who should apologize. If I’d just had the balls to let you know I actually liked you.”

“I don’t know, I think the balls you have are quite nice,” Jensen says slyly, his hand slipping down, and, just like that, they’re off again.

\--------

“So, when are we gonna meet that boy wonder of yours?” Chris slurs, eyes glassy and top button of his jeans already undone by Steve’s nimble fingers.

Jensen laughs lazily, eyeing their activities with only a small flare of jealousy. He’s meeting Jared tomorrow morning, he’ll get his then. “You? When Hell freezes over, that’s when.”

Chris pouts. It looks ridiculous considering he’s half naked and about as innocent as a rent boy. “Come on, don’t be like that. I share mine with you all the time.”

Jensen snorts. “That’s ‘cause your boy is a nympho, and you’re not man enough to keep him happy. No offense, Steve.” He waves his hand apologetically.

“None taken,” Steve says easily, ignoring Chris’s sputtering in favor of swallowing him down. As usual, that takes care of that argument.

Jensen watches them, dick stirring slightly in his pants but that’s all. He doesn’t even want to join in. Watching is a whole other story. They’ve been watching each other’s backs since they first shared a ratty old apartment when coming to New York years ago. Well, backs, fronts… every side offered, really.

Chris groans loudly, and Jensen takes another hit of a new joint he doesn’t even remember rolling, before struggling to his feet and wandering out on the balcony. It’s a nice starry night, the noise of the traffic just low enough to keep the buzz in his blood nice and comfortable. He smokes, slowly, savoring each inhale. Fuck, he feels good. It’s a perfect night. All it’s missing is Jared.

He sways unsteadily as he pulls his phone out of his pocket and punches in Jared’s number.

“Hey, you.” Jared’s voice is a little rough, like he was sleeping, but he sounds happy enough that the corners of Jensen’s lips turn up in a dopey smile.

“You should be here,” he says, forgetting completely why he didn’t want that earlier. He’s feeling happy, and good and so fucking nice, and he just wants Jared here, to share all of those amazing feelings. “You should be here with me. We could watch the stars together. The stars are amazing!”

Jared laughs softly. “Yeah? You watching the stars right now?”

“Yes! Dude, you should see this. It’s…” He blinks, awed. “Shit, it’s so pretty. The moon is just… Ooh, I’m gonna climb up on the roof.”

“No, you’re not,” Jared says quickly. “I refuse to fuck you if you break your neck and die. I’m not into necrophilia.”

“You’re no fun,” Jensen pouts, disappointed but also really happy, because he just remembered he’s really afraid of heights. “I was gonna ask you to come over and fuck me but, now I’m all sad, ‘cause you won’t love me when I’m dead.”

There’s silence, but then he can hear Jared sigh on the other end. “You are so wasted, man.”

“’M not. Maybe. Just a little.” He closes his eyes, watching the stars dance under his eyelids. “I think, I think maybe I shouldn’t smoke anymore tonight.”

“I think maybe you’re right. You want me to come over, make sure you stop?”

“I’ve stopped, I’ve stopped. See?” Jensen says, pulling a last drag before flipping the rest of the joint into the darkness. He coughs, shivering slightly in the cold night air. “’M not home anyway.”

“You’re not? Where are you?”

Jared sounds worried, so Jensen hurries to assure him, “I’m with friends, but I won’t fuck’em, I promise. ‘Cause I have a boyfriend now. He’s got a much bigger dick anyway.”

This time the silence is so long he’s starting to nod off where he stands, leaning against the balcony railing. He’s jerked awake by Jared’s hard voice.

“Jensen, tell me where you are. I’m coming to pick you up, right now.”

Jensen tells him the address then stands with the phone in his hand after Jared hangs up. He’s starting to feel cold, and nauseated and like he’s done something really wrong and stupid, he just doesn’t know what. He goes back inside where Chris and Steve are now fucking on the couch, stumbles past them and into the bedroom where he falls into the unmade bed. His dick is all hard and unhappy, so he kicks off his jeans and boxers and jerks off until he comes all over his hands and stomach. Then promptly passes out.

 

He’s woken up by someone roughly shaking him by the shoulder. “Jensen, come on. Wake up.”

“No,” he mumbles. His head is spinning. “Sleep.”

“Not here, you’re not,” the voice that he now recognizes as Jared’s says. He sounds angry. One of Jensen’s eyelids is pried open, and even if he tries to turn his head away, annoyed, Jared’s hands are like gorilla hands, all strong with ridiculously long fingers. Jensen really loves Jared’s hands. Even when they’re being mean and stupid.

“Fuck, did you take something? Your pupils are huge.”

“Jus’ weed,” he whines. “Really good stuff.”

“Your friends are naked, by the way,” Jared says, hauling him up and to his feet, ignoring his flailing protests. Wow, Jared’s really, really strong. Like André the giant strong. “So are you. As good as. And they smell like a fucking orgy. Again, like _you_.”

Oh, fuck. _Now_ Jensen remembers why Jared wasn’t supposed to come here.

“I didn’t,” he says, blinking his eyes against the too bright light. “I promised.”

“Yeah, well, not sure I believe you,” Jared says harshly. “You’re drunk, high and have come all over you.”

Jensen looks down and frowns at the still sticky mess. “ _My_ come! I jerked off, ‘cos you were in my head, being all growly, and angry and jealous,” he says, feeling pretty damn hurt. How can Jared doubt him? “It was hot, I got horny.”

“I wasn’t jealous–“ Jared stops. He clenches his jaw and takes a deep breath before finally looking straight at Jensen. “What the fuck am I supposed to think, Jen? You tell me you won’t fuck them, because I’ve got a bigger dick, like you’ve fucking measured, and when I knock on the door this guy opens, butt naked, stares at me and says, ‘Fuck, no wonder Jenny’s so sore.’ I mean, what the hell?”

Jensen closes his eyes. Then doubles over and vomits, all over Jared’s shoes.

\-------

By the time Jensen finally stumbles out of bed and into the shower, Jared is so very close to walking out and never returning. He’s cleaned up more messes than he wants to count, had to watch Jensen retching, then snoring, then retching, then snoring again in what seemed like an endless loop. And to make this experience even more enjoyable he’s so far had to listen to three messages being left on Jensen’s answering machine. First the delightful Chris called Jensen to tell him he’s a selfish prick who should share his good fortune. Jared wishes he didn’t know what that referred to. Then the other guy, who is apparently called Steve, called to tell Jensen not to listen to Chris, “Unless that’s what you want, man. I’m always game, you know that.” And finally Danni yelled at Jensen to turn on his cellphone and “You better not have screwed up your relationship with Jared after all the work I put in getting you two dickheads together! Btw, Chris says you forgot your underwear, asshole.”

Seriously, there are limits.

When Jensen finally emerges, pale face scrubbed clean and hair flat and colorless, his eyes are bloodshot and wary. He looks irritatingly young and vulnerable. Jared kinda wants to punch him for being so damn adorable, if nothing else.

“You’re still here,” Jensen says, sounding like he’s not sure whether he should be relieved or worried.

Jared doesn’t answer, just pours Jensen a cup of coffee and hands it over. “Drink up and then we need to talk.”

If possible Jensen turns even paler. He still does as he’s told, ass perched on the edge of the chair like he’s prepared to flee if that’s what it comes down to. When the last drop has been swallowed he puts the cup down and raises his head to meet Jared’s glare with a defeated look.

“Thanks. For… this,” he nudges the mug, “and being here all night and…” He swallows. “I’m sorry.”

“Jensen.”

“No, I am. I’m sorry. I didn’t… I’m such a fuck-up.” He drops his head, rubbing a hand over his eyes. “Shit.”

He looks so miserable Jared wants to say no, but hey, for all he knows, it’s true. “I need you to tell me nothing happened.”

Jensen’s head jerks up, eyes wide. “Nothing happened! I told you–”

Jared cuts him off. “I need you to tell me nothing happened last night or any night since we got together. I don’t care what you did before, that’s none of my business, but I don’t share, and I won’t be cheated on.”

Jensen shakes his head frantically. “I swear. Nothing happened. We haven’t, not since… Shit, it’s been weeks. Before us. That time I thought you were a Jesus freak! It was the night before that. And even then there was no… Yeah, okay, they fucked and, and I watched. But _we_ didn’t. Not that. Other stuff but not that. Haven’t since I met you.” He bites his lip. “And by met you, I mean four months ago.”

Jared blinks. He hadn’t been expecting that. The way Jensen looked some mornings, Jared had been sure he’d been getting laid on a regular basis. Hard and good.

“It was never… It was just sex, man,” Jensen continues dejectedly. “Friends being there for each other. And it feels good, you know. Not being alone all the time.”

Jared doesn’t really know what to say to that. He imagines having that kind of relationship with any of his friends back home. No, there’s just no way. Just the thought of Chad naked… Ugh.

“Is this it?” Jensen says in a low voice, bringing him out of his thoughts. “Are we done?”

Jared hesitates but Jensen’s eyes, although blood-sprung and hung over, are open and honest, and so sad it breaks Jared’s fucking heart.

“Do you remember what you said on the phone last night?” he asks. “That you were sad, because I wouldn’t love you if you were dead.”

Jensen visibly cringes, pink spots appearing in his pale cheeks, but he shakes his head. “No. Sorry. I remember something about the stars but…” He shakes his head again, shoulders tensing as he waits for Jared to continue.

“Well, you did. And I wanted to tell you then that I probably would. Love you even if you were dead.” He laughs a little at Jensen’s shocked expression. “Not the way you meant it, freak. I’m not sticking my dick in your cold dead asshole.” He shudders. “But yeah. That’s what I was thinking. So, no. We’re not done. Because I’m not gonna throw away that thought, that _feeling_ , because you apparently liked to have threesomes and still watch your friends have sex. I’d rather see where we can take this. Us. Because I think we could be damn good, you and me.”

Jensen swallows. “I think so, too.”

“Good.” Jared pushes away from the table and stands up, taking their mugs to rinse them in the sink. “You owe me new shoes,” he adds, his back still turned. “And about a gazillion blowjobs for being the most thoughtful, amazing boyfriend slash nurse ever.”

There’s a thud, and when he turns around Jensen is right there, on his knees, hands reaching for Jared’s zipper. It would be hot as hell if Jensen didn’t look like death warmed over, his face so pale it’s almost green, and Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat as he swallows repeatedly, presumably bile.

Jared grabs Jensen’s wrists, staring at him in disbelief. “Jesus, man, it was a joke. You don’t owe me anything.”

“I just-” Jensen says awkwardly, then looks away, pulling slowly out of Jared’s grip. He stands up and wipes his palms on his thighs before running one shaky hand through his hair. “So… we’re okay?”

Jared shakes his head in exasperation, but Jensen clearly takes it the wrong way because he nods, lips pursed, then starts to turn away. Jared rolls his eyes and grabs Jensen’s wrist, pulling him in and wrapping his arms tight around him.

“Of course we are, dumbass. I don’t judge your kinks, man. I have some weird ones myself. I just needed to know where we stood, whether we were on the same page. Now we’ve got that sorted… I’m good. I mean it. You wanna watch, you watch. As long as you get your rocks off with _me_ , I don’t give a shit.”

Not 100% true, but it’s not a deal breaker either. Hell, he watches porn all the time. There’s not that much of a difference, not really.

“Okay.” Jensen breathes out, and after a moment’s hesitation he wraps his arms around Jared’s waist. They stand like that for a long time, when Jensen suddenly clears his throat and asks, “So, when you say you have weird kinks…”

\------

“Can we change the subject?” Jared asks, squirming beside Jensen on the couch. “Guys, please?”

His dejected sigh when the plea is met with even louder laughter is almost enough to make Jensen relent and side with him. Almost.

“I can’t believe you _wrote_ this!” Jensen thumbs through the book until he finds his favorite story. “I mean, _damn_. You got any idea how many times I’ve jerked off to this one? Please tell me we can do this.” He turns the book to show Jared which chapter he’s referring to and thoroughly enjoys watching Jared’s face turn even redder.

“Do you own a waterbed?” Jared shoots back, all sarcastic and annoyed, but he’s blushing too much for Jensen to take him seriously. Ever again.

Jensen laughs and continues flipping through the book, completely ignoring the movie they’re supposedly watching. God, this is gold. No wonder Jared knew so many tricks despite being pretty damn close to a virgin.

“No, but I do have peanut butter,” he says with a wink when he reaches that part. “And Jell-O.”

“I’d go with Jell-O,” Danneel says, grinning from where she sits in one of the armchairs, balancing a half-empty bowl of popcorn on her lap. “Peanut butter looks too much like poop. I mean, with anal sex, how can you be sure which is which?”

“Oh God! Shut up,” Jensen says, gagging. “You’re ruining one of my favorite fantasies!”

“No, she’s right,” Chris says with a frown. “You’ve got your fingers going all deep and good, right? And then you pull them out and… I mean, do you lick’em or not?”

Jared groans and hides his face in his hands. “That’s it, I can never write porn again.”

“See what you’ve done?” Jensen says, glaring at Danneel. “Fix it. Now!”

“I’m sorry, Jared,” Danneel says, sugary sweet. “Just imagine it’s Jensen’s ass. We all know he shits nothing but rainbows.”

“Damn straight,” Jensen says, smug. “Because I’m a goddamn unicorn, baby.” He rubs a palm over his crotch. “Wanna see my horn?”

“Forget porn,” Kristen groans. “You just killed my sex drive, forever. You guys are the cheesiest, most unsexy gay men I’ve ever met in my whole life. I demand new gay friends who are actually hot and make out and…” She chokes on her beer. “Uh, never mind.”

Jensen grins as Jared shakes with low laughter under him on the couch, mouth never leaving his. He scoots up higher, rubbing his dick against Jared’s thigh and the laughter turns into a moan. Jared’s giant hands slide down to cup Jensen’s ass, one staying there, holding him still, while the other runs under Jensen’s t-shirt, palm warm on his already heating skin.

Jensen can hear murmurs and coughs, and someone kissing someone else. Chris and Steve would be his guess, but with the way Alli has been eyeing Gen… If he was less invested in his own increasingly heated make-out session he might be tempted to check. But right now he’s got Jared’s tongue down his throat, and Jared’s hand down his pants, fingers getting more and more adventurous. Oh God, yes, right there–

Jensen hears a deep moan and his eyes shoot to the side, completely without him meaning to, jerking his head along with them and his lips from Jared’s mouth. He freezes when he realizes what he’s done and is about to apologize, with a blowjob if necessary, when Jared chuckles in his ear.

“It’s okay,” Jared whispers, tweaking one of Jensen’s nipples between his fingers. “We can watch together.” And then he’s turning his head as well, settling into the cushions as his fingers keep working their way into Jensen’s ass and his dick smears precome all over Jensen’s tight fist and God, oh God…

Fin 


End file.
